I don't remember when I first became aware that exercise would help tone up my body and so reduce some of the excess problems. I know Fiona, my WW leader, must have done a good talk on the importance of exercise because I don't usually change my lifestyle just from reading booklets. When I started exercising I was just doing aerobics exercise. I think it was my friend Laurie in California who really challenged me to do toning exercise. Certainly I noticed a huge difference in all areas once I started all my 'Hit the Spot' videos. (See my exercise page.)
Back in May 1998 I went to see my doctor. Whilst there I asked him about the problem. One of the things which now concerned me was how would I know when I had reached a satisfactory weight. Nobody tells you how much allowance to make for excess skin which I now know increases your weight. The doctor didn't answer my questions but said he would refer me to the plastic surgeon. He said I could expect an answer in about 6 months time.
In September 1998 the doctor asked to see me. He had heard from the surgeon who basically refused to see me because he said that he had so many people to see that he didn't consider cosmetic surgery of importance. My doctor tried appealing but the health authorities backed the surgeon. My doctor then went on holiday for a month.
In October 1998 I went to see the doctor again and after discussing
various matters I asked was it possible to be referred to another area.
My doctor said that he had already thought of doing that. He backed
me all the way agreeing that after losing so much weight the problem could
not be ignored and thought of as JUST cosmetic. He said he would refer
me to a surgeon in Manchester. I received a letter in December inviting
me to see Mrs. A Brain an eminent plastic surgeon at Manchester Royal Infirmary.
I was eventually shown to a room where I was given a gown and asked to undress. Oh I forgot to mention that I was weighed shortly after I arrived. As soon as Mrs. Brain entered the room I was put at my ease. She complimented me on my great success and asked how I had done it and how long it had taken. After a short while she looked at my stomach. She felt at it and pulled the skin. She was quick to say that she could make a big improvement and that my clothes would fit much better too. Mrs. Brain was impressed and said that although she didn't usually do cosmetic surgery she felt that after all my hard work that I deserved to have a tummy tuck.
A large scar will be formed from one side of my stomach to the other, hip to hip. This scar would be hidden round the bikini line. A second cut may be done as an up down cut which would be more difficult to hide. As I am not into wearing bikinis etc. that shouldn't be a problem!! My tummy button would have to be moved and I would lose my large mole too but again that doesn't worry me!
Mrs. Brain then spent a little time explaining about good and bad scars. There is only a 1 or 2 % risk of a bad scar and that would mean it would be raised up. A good scar would fade greatly over time. There might be swelling for a few months after the operation, numbness in the area and there could also be stretching round the scar. . There was also a slight risk of trapped blood, haematoma, which would require more surgery to remove it.
I was told that I would be in hospital for 4-5 days and would need to take 3 weeks off school and I wouldn't be able to exercise for some time. As this is being done on the National Health I will not have a choice over when I have it done. The waiting list is about a year long. Mrs. Brain suggested that I went away and considered if I wanted placing on the list. I told her as I had already been giving it much thought I wanted placing on that list straight away. Now I just have to wait for an actual appointment for the surgery. I shall not see Mrs. Brain before that unless I feel I want to make another appointment to ask more questions.
The day after the visit I had one slight disappointment. The result was floods of tears. I hadn't realized quite how stressed I had got over this matter. I felt much better after my cry. I am so glad that I have found somebody who understands my problem and doesn't think I am silly or vain. I had asked whether there was anything I should do before the surgery like toning etc. Mrs. Brain said I could continue with my exercise but that no amount of exercise would change the need for the surgery. Now I hopefully can relax again until the appointment comes through.
I asked where I could find more information about this surgery.
I was told to search 'abdominoplasty' which is the technical term for a
tummy tuck. There are hundreds of sites to visit! Many of the
sites show before and after pictures as well as tell you what to expect.
I am really excited about this. I have been getting down about
the excess skin recently. It seems to bother me more as time goes
on. I am frightened but excited at the same time!
The session yesterday was nowhere near as bad as I had expected. I was asked would I like a female photographer so I said yes. The lady was very sensitive and I didn't have to get undressed fully. I had to stand on a box similar to the ones we use in school for staging. I had 3 photos taken. One from the front and one from each side. The photographer said the instruction was that she needed to show the hanging skin or 'apron' of skin. The whole thing was over very quickly and was no worse than when the surgeon felt at my stomach when she was deciding whether she was going to do the surgery.
I am very excited that I am soon to get rid of this excess skin which
upsets me so much. That doesn't take away from the fact that I am
scared of the unknown too! Fortunately I have contact, mainly by
email, with folk who have already had abdominoplasty and they are being
helpful and giving me lots of hints as to what the experience will be like.
16/7/00 I have now returned from my surgery and I plan to
write up some notes from the journal I tried to keep when in hospital.
After a while a doctor, I think he said he was one of the team of surgeons, took me down to the 'treatment' room where he asked me some questions and took blood samples. He said I would need a photograph taken. He was very surprised that I had been told to have photos taken before I entered hospital. He then sent me back to the day room and said a nurse would show me where my bed was.
At 1.30pm I was desperate for a drink. Another lady was waiting with me. She had already been shown her bed and her daughter had gone home. Apparently the nurses asked her did she want lunch! I decided to go to the cafe and get a drink and some sandwiches and Nancy said she would look after my bags and tell the staff where I was if anyone came looking for me. They didn't! It was 2.50pm before anyone came looking for me. It was a student nurse. She took me back to the treatment room where I had to answer lots of questions re allergies etc. She took my blood pressure and weighed me. She seemed surprised that I didn't know where the bathrooms, toilets and my bed were. She showed me before leaving me. I left my bags by my bed and went back to Nancy in the day room. I was one up on Nancy as she hadn't been shown the bathrooms!
Half an hour later Helen, the student nurse, came back with my name band which was fastened round my wrist. Just after 4pm Helen took me back to the treatment room where I met my plastic surgeon, Mr Kumar, for the first time. He was extremely nice. I was prodded about and had my skin lifted and moved in all directions! Mr Kumar explained that he needed a good look at me standing up as the skin falls differently once lying on the operating table. Mr Kumar drew lots of lines on me with a black felt pen. Then I lay on the bed and he drew even more. At various points Helen had to hold my folds of skin as he drew his lines. I looked ready for a game of noughts and crosses when he had finished! One line went straight down my front through my belly button. This was so that he knew where the midline was, especially when he starts pulling the skin for the operation. More lines were drawn across my midriff. Mr Kumar measured the lines carefully. He explained that the central line was to make sure that when he pulled my skin he pulled it straight. The other lines were to ensure that he pulled evenly. If he stretched one side more than the other the black lines would become distorted. Mr Kumar said if I had a bath I was to make sure that I didn't rub too hard and rub out his lines. I was too scared to have a bath!
I was warned that I had excess skin at the sides which he wouldn't be able to access in this operation. He said he could only get at those areas from my back. There was also excess skin at the top which he would be unable to get rid of. He left it saying he would do his best for me.
I asked about the consequences of losing more weight, which I still hope to do, and he pointed out that I could end up with some more excess skin. I know it could never be as bad as the starting problem so I am not worrying about that yet.
Mr Kumar explained that he would put two drains in and they would govern how long I would have to stay in hospital. At worst there was a possibility of going back to theatre if the drains bled for too long.
The skin has to be lifted in order to do the surgery which means that its source of blood changes. Instead of receiving blood from all sides the skin would only receive blood from the top. There is a possibility of a small area of skin dying. The same thing could happen round my tummy button. The umbilical is detached whilst the skin is stretched and then attached again at the appropriate place.
My surgery is expected to be at about 10.30am and will last about 3 hours.
I was surprised that I didn't feel as scared as I had expected to do. Being overweight again didn't help with my esteem. In my heart I know the surgery can't be as successful as it would have been if I had managed to get back to my goal weight again. Still my tummy muscles are strong and won't need tightening so that is something positive to cling hold to.
A special gown was left on the end of my table for me to change into
in the morning. My water jug must have been removed round 5am.
At about 7.30am I was measured for some special stockings which were to help prevent blood clots. Round 9am the anaesthetist came to see me. He explained that my operation was a particularly painful one. He said I would be given painkillers before returning to the ward and that I would also be given a special box. The box was to give me pain relief whenever I wanted it at a press of a button. I was warned not to wait until I was desperate for relief as it was better to take a little but more often. If the button is not pressed then nothing happens. I would also be on a drip when I came back to the ward. He told me that I would see him wearing a blue cap and then feel a scratch on my hand and then the next thing I knew it would be all over. ..Of course when he came looking for me I was down in the toilets!!
At 9.10am I was given an injection in my tummy. This was to thin my blood and prevent blood clots. I would be given it daily whilst in hospital. It then seemed a long wait whilst I wandered around waiting to be called. I wasn't allowed to eat or drink anything. I got dressed in my hospital gown but had to get a nurse to fasten it for me. I was busy chatting with some patients when I was told they were ready for me in theatre half an hour earlier than I expected.
I felt really nervous but the nurse who walked with me to the theatre was very good at trying to make me relax. We got to a sign where it said we had to stop. The nurse rang a bell and a theatre staff nurse came out to greet me. She asked me a few questions double checking who I was etc. I was shown into another room where another nurse chatted with me. She even managed to make me laugh. In fact the nurse had rushed through the door to chat with me and ask me how I had lost the weight. I was surprised as I had assumed that she would have come across a number of people losing lots of weight. The nurse said that the operation wasn't done very frequently these days so I am jolly glad that I could have it!
Mr Kumar came to check on my markings. They had partially rubbed off on my underwear so he spent time drawing them back. Well the lines just needed to be made clearer. BTW the black pen is like the ones you can buy in the shops but it doesn't smell so strongly.
The anaesthetist came in. I vaguely remember him joking with me and putting a line into my hand. When Mr Kumar had finished the anaesthetist injected the anaesthetic and I must have gone straight to sleep.
I vaguely remember coming to and hearing a nurse commenting on how hot I was and how swollen my hand was. I seem to remember seeing a clock which said 2.30pm. It took a little time to realise that I was actually coming to after an operation. It was all over!
I was wheeled back into the ward on a special bed. I am told it was 3pm when I entered the ward. My bed was a press button one which raised the head part of the mattress and the section where my knees were. To prevent pulling on my tummy I had to stay in a curved position. I was attached to a machine which regularly took my blood pressure, temperature and oxygen levels. Soon after arriving in the ward I spotted a basket of white flowers at the end of my bed. I could hardly speak but was able to ask who they were from. They gave me a lot of pleasure the whole time I was in hospital.
I remember feeling very hot and asking for water. I drank lots of water. I had two drains in place. ( There are two tubes coming out of me with a ball shaped piece attached. Then another tube attaches the drain to a bag.) There was a drip attached to my foot alongside the pain relief machine. I was well wrapped up round my tummy. I was wearing a sort of girdle which fastened with velcro.
At 5pm I was asked did I want anything to eat. I was told if I felt up to it there was no reason why I shouldn't eat. I asked for a sandwich as I thought that would be easiest to eat. I managed to eat about a quarter of it but I continued to drink lots of water. I also managed a cup of tea. It was too much effort to eat anymore!
Later in the evening I was taken off the machine measuring my blood pressure and the nurse said she would have to wake me every two hours to take it. Not to worry I was usually awake when she arrived or in such a light sleep that I woke straight away.
Next was the hard part! I tried using a bedpan. They are
not easy to use when you are lying down. I tried on 3 separate occasions
but with no success! By 1am I was desperate so the nurse suggested
I try a commode. Of course this meant getting out of bed. I
clicked on my pain relief before trying. It was painful trying to
get out of bed without using my tummy muscles. I had to try and roll
over and swing my legs over the bed. Then I had to push up with my
hands to get the top of my body up. Of all the things that happened
to me in hospital those first few attempts at getting out of bed were definitely
the worst. The nurses were very patient and helpful so I wasn't asked
to do anything that I couldn't. I sat for ages on the commode before
being able to do anything. Then I overflowed it!!!!! The same
happened again at 4am. I will be remembered for sometime to come!!
Not long before I left hospital one of the nurses referred to me as having
a monumental bladder and being like a dog marking out my territory!!!
I managed some breakfast, a bowl of porridge and half a slice of toast, and then the student nurse helped me have a quick wash in bed although I found it difficult. I got dressed in my own nightie again which made me feel much more comfortable.
A doctor came in to move my drip to my hand. Well it was decided to remove my drip as I was drinking so much water but the pain control line needed attaching to my hand. The doctor wasn't impressed to find both my hands so swollen and covered in bruises that he couldn't see my veins. He removed my name band and tried to put a line in my wrist. He made a mess of it and had to clean up lots of blood! The nurses knew I wanted the toilet again so two of them walked me down the ward to the real toilet. It was quite a feat with all the tubes etc. I was told to walk all bent up so I looked like an old woman but it wasn't really a problem. The nurses asked had I got a carrier bag as they said it was easier to carry the drain bags around in a carrier bag. I happened to have an empty Sainsbury's bag which I used whilst I was there. I think if I was to go through it again, and knew in advance about the drain I would bring something a little more up market for carrying!!!! It is quite a strange feeling wandering round with the drains in a carrier. Everywhere I go they go too. I have to remember to pick them up and put them down gently when going to the loo etc.
When I got back to my bed they sat me up in a chair. They couldn't find a stool low enough for me so I had to prop my knees up with a pillow as I am still to keep my knees raised.
At lunchtime I was given some pain relief tablets and the injection to thin my blood. This time it was given in the top of my leg, as it was for the rest of my stay. Just before my afternoon visitors arrived the line into my hand fell out!! The nurses decided that it was best left out as I had hardly used it so that meant my pain relief was solely from tablets.
The weight of my removed excess skin sounds to have weighed in at just over 5 lbs! The nurse, reading my notes, actually read 2365 grams of tissue but my sister in law converted it into pounds for me.
I reckon I must be drinking between 6-8 pints of water daily, I wish I found it so easy to drink more water in my normal routine at home!
By the end of the day I was going to the toilet on my own. Then
my period started! Bad timing!
At 9am I was washed, cleaned and freshened up and watering my flowers!! I had taped stories to listen to on my Walkman and spent lots of time writing notes. (My auntie was very wise in advising me to take lots of short cards and notelets. I tried to send cards to those writing to me or phoning and asking after me. I found it easier to concentrate on that than I did to read.) The registrar, Mr Greenwood, one of the really high up doctors, asked was I mobile. When I said 'yes' he asked why I was sitting down!! He told me that I needed to keep moving my feet up and down when sitting down.
I was feeling full of energy so with the nurses permission I walked down to the post box and hospital shop, a walk I was to do at least once every day. I later measured this walk with my WW buddy. It was just under 1/4 a mile in total. I felt very hot as I got near the shop. I was taking my time walking and walked near the wall too. (I felt I had to do the walk as I needed sanitary towels although I felt like a walk anyway.) Before I reached the ward I was getting worried so as I passed by the cafe I went and got a bottle of flavoured water there. I drank a little in the cafe before returning with my bottle. By the time I got back to the ward I was extremely hot and beginning to feel faint. The nurse had said that if I had a problem then I should tell somebody and they would come and fetch me but I was able to manage on my own. The walk was obviously too much for me and I was very tired for the rest of the day. I sat in my chair and then realised that I hadn't taken my Walkman etc. out of my locker which was the other side of my bed. That was the point when I had a quiet weep. I had been warned by friends that it is normal to have a weep as a delayed reaction to the anaesthetic so I wasn't worried. I just don't like crying in public. Mind you I don't think anybody noticed the tears.
When the nurse came to take my temperature and blood pressure she commented on how tired I looked. She agreed that I had probably done too much.
I had a blood test.
Mr Kumar came to see me. He really is a very nice man. The 'girdle' was undone. It was like an elasticated bandage which went right round my body and fastened with velcro. Then Mr Kumar got Lisa, my nurse that morning, to cut open the dressing underneath. He looked at my tummy button and at the scar below. He said everything was healing well and there was no oozing. He decided that the dressing didn't need to be stitched back together and just pulled the 'girdle' to. That took a little effort as it was a tight fit!
Mr Kumar wanted to know if was mobile. I told him I had walked to the shop and he looked surprised. He said he had only been asking had I managed to walk to the toilets! He reminded me about moving my feet and said it was rather like a pedalling movement (this seemed to be another step to help prevent blood clots) Mr Kumar pointed out that one of my drains was collecting lots of fluid so I would probably be in hospital for a few days. Mr Kumar thought about my excess skin and said that he thought he must have removed about 7 lbs worth of skin. I am not sure which is the correct amount but I like to think 7 instead of 5!!!
When Mr Kumar had gone a nurse came to whisper to me. She said that if she ever needed surgery she would choose Mr Kumar!! I said that I had heard of Mrs Brain's reputation but had been a little worried at first when I knew I couldn't have her. The nurse said that she had never known Mrs Brain to make an error in her surgery but she again said that Mr Kumar was not only an excellent surgeon but was extremely nice with it. I had to agree!
Later in the day my temperature was up.
When Mr Greenwood and the other doctors did their round they were told about my temperature. Mr. Greenwood said that if the temperature didn't go down I should give a urine sample. My left drain was clear enough to be taken out.
Fran gave me some pain killers and left me for 30 mins. I lay on the bed whilst she took the drain out. She had told me yesterday that it could be very sore when it was taken out and that there would be a warm sensation. Fran firstly told me to breathe deeply. She said she would count to 3 and then pull gently. It was a while before she could pull it out! Firstly the tube had a stitch holding it in place. Also it was right beside my pubic hair which meant she had a go with scissors to prevent hurting me! The drain came out easily. It didn't hurt. I remember thinking the tube was slightly longer than I had imagined. Certainly the experience was nothing to have worried over. Fran left my girdle undone and told me to lie on my bed for 30 minutes just in case I might feel faint.
I actually lay on my bed for an hour and then needed the toilet. I knew I couldn't fasten that girdle on my own so had to ask for help. I felt fairly washed out for the rest of the morning but perked up after lunch. I felt in need of a walk. I got a visitor just as I was thinking of going. I did go, with the nurses permission, once my visitor left. I found the walk easier than yesterday. I was still feeling hot and wanted to buy a bottle of flavoured water. They didn't have any. I bought a can of diet pepsi but didn't enjoy it, that surprised me!
Near lunchtime the physiotherapist came to see me. He listened to my heart and lungs and then asked me to walk. He asked me to try walking tall. As it didn't hurt he said I could now walk straightened up.
My right drain is still working hard so not ready for coming out yet. (in one 12 hour period it produced 160 mls but I don't know which day that was, probably yesterday.) Tonight was 50 mls. The drain is checked every 12 hours and is supposed to have less than 15 mls before it is taken out.
I started itching today!
My temperature was down to 37.2.
When the registrar came to me during his ward round he said that he had bad and good news. The bad news was that I couldn't go home because of my drain. (this was the day I had expected to get home when I first arrived in hospital.) The good news was the sun was shining!!!! I had a few walks down to the shop and wandered outside the hospital a few times too. I saw a Jay on one of my walks and a lovely cat. It was frustrating as I found it difficult to bend down low enough to stroke the cat. The cat was obviously surprised how difficult I found it too!
I had another sample of blood taken by a lady whose job is taking samples of blood but I can't remember the correct name for her job!
My drain was 80mls when emptied in the evening so much too high.
I felt a lot better in the morning when one of the nurses helped me wash my hair. Its amazing how clean hair can lift your spirits. I had been afraid to tackle it before not knowing whether I would cause my tummy trouble.
I was very bored and in the evening was sad because I had such trouble finding anybody to phone and chat to. It seemed everybody had gone out but then it was a Saturday night. John and Lindsey had visited earlier in the afternoon. They were very good and visited me every day, well at least one of them.
The nurse in the evening lifted my girdle to check that I had no hard
lumps or anything and decided that all was well. My drain was 60mls
when emptied.
The registrar came round at lunchtime. When I said I had talked to the drain but it hadn't worked he told me I wasn't talking to it well enough!
The weather wasn't as pleasant and it kept raining every time I tried to get outside but I did manage some very short walks. I also discovered that I am not able to move quickly even when trying to get out of the rain!
My blood was taken again. It would appear that it is being taken on alternate days although the lady told me that sometimes folk have it taken daily.
The drain was at 50 when emptied in the evening.
The ladies I had made close friends with were all getting out today so maybe that was another reason for my tears.
Later in the day Lisa came to chat with me and again the floods came!! I asked about my stockings as somebody had hinted that not all the nurses insist on you wearing them all the time especially when you are as active as I am. Lisa insisted that I continued to wear them but she did allow me to have some clean ones. So I got a basin and gave my feet a good soaking and my legs a good wash before putting the clean ones on. My Auntie tells me these stockings are very expensive.
I had a surprise as my blood was taken again today. I wasn't expecting it when it had been taken yesterday! I discovered that they are taking it to keep a check on me because of the blood thinning injections but more importantly to check that I am okay with the drains still producing so much fluid. A comment was made about my lack of bruising. Seemingly with all these injections to thin my blood there is often bruising from blood tests and where the injection is given. There is no sign of bruising on my arms. I have one bruise on the top of my leg. (Those injections started off not hurting at all but some of the later ones did hurt. One or two ached afterwards too. There seemed no way of knowing which were going to be painful. Still they were over quickly. I did hear a nurse tell a student that normally when giving injections you flick the air bubble out. With this injection they flick the bubble to the top so that it goes in last and helps prevent the bruising.)
Lisa came back later in the day to take my blood pressure and temperature. My drain was 20 this time. More hopeful? She asked me did I have some support knickers to wear when I got home. She said just to buy the sort of thing available in Marks and Spencer. I phoned my Auntie in the evening and she said she would buy me some. We also talked about my dressing. Lisa asked did I have sutures and I said I didn't know but that she was the one who had opened my dressing and the only one who had seen if I did. She seemed surprised that my dressing hadn't been removed so she took me to the treatment room and removed it. This time I had no choice but to see my tummy button. It seems odd. It didn't look like my body but I was lying down so it was difficult to see. Once the original dressing was off Lisa put some new dressings over the scar and put a strip of tape on to hold them in place. It took 5 dressings to cover the whole of the scar.
I got a surprise visit later in the evening which cheered me up.
Thank goodness! Weeping all the time gets tiring!!
Lynn didn't want to tell me the result of my drain in case I started to cry again! It was 80mls.
Caroline, the staff nurse who is acting sister, was concerned about my drain when the registrar came to do his rounds. I asked Mr Greenwood if I could challenge him to think of the earliest date I might go home. He grinned and said he didn't accept challenges. He said I had a few options. Apparently sometimes drains can go on like this for about 14 days. Caroline reminded me that having lost about 7 lbs of skin was the equivalent of giving birth. Mr Greenwood said I could have the drain taken out now but new fluid would have trouble being formed. I would also need to have the build up of fluid taken out by syringe. I could go home with the drain still in place. I wasn't terribly happy about that and neither was he when he realised that I lived on my own. (I hope I have written that correctly. I should have taken notes as Mr Greenwood spoke!) Caroline mentioned that I was reading Harry Potter. Mr Greenwood was interested and said that he would compare notes with me each morning. The other registrar reminded Mr Greenwood that he was on a ward round so they moved on. They are all really nice and easy to talk to!
I was put on iron pills as my count is rather low with all the blood
lost because of the drain.
I sat outside in the sun reading my Harry Potter book. I had
originally decided to leave it to read at home as I find it hard to concentrate
in hospital but once challenged I thought I better read some before the
next ward round!! I sat on a wooden bench outside but found that
I got tired there, probably because I was used to sitting with my knees
up.
My drain was 20 mls in the evening. It seems that the flow has changed and is now less in the evening and more in the morning but then when it is reported to the registrar it is reported as the evening and morning amounts added together.
My bed was moved to the bottom of the ward so that a lady who was very
ill could be nearer the nurses room.
When Mr Greenwood came round he said if the drain was less than 20 that evening I could go home. I was worried that the readings might have been spoilt by the drain not flowing all night so I mentioned it. Mr Greenwood looked at it, 2 hours after it had been emptied, and it looked above 20 already so not much chance! I wouldn't like to have had the drain removed and then suffered later.
Caroline, who obviously knew I had been upset at the beginning of the week, came to chat with me. She pointed out that her mother had gone into a different ward than me but on the same day. She had her surgery the same time as me and her drain was, like mine, still working overtime. It was a comfort to know that. I had already felt reassured when John had brought me an email from a friend who had the surgery last year. She said it took her drain 10 days to clear.
I made a comment about my hair and Caroline said there was no reason why I couldn't wash my hair by myself. It shouldn't hurt my tummy if I sit close enough to the basin. She also said that the nurses would always help me if I found I couldn't manage it. I washed my hair that evening. Another lift to the spirits!!
I had my usual dose of paracetamol round 10pm. I get offered it
4 times a day. Sometimes the nurses ask if I am in pain and if not then
I don't take it. Sometimes they encourage me to take it anyway as
they say it will help keep my temperature down. It was a late night
and took the nurses a long time to see to everyone before turning the lights
out. I started to feel sore where my scar was but wasn't sure if
I could have anything stronger with having had the paracetamol earlier.
Round midnight I was given some stronger painkillers and then slept well
again.
Mr Greenwood was still concerned that my drain had been in so long. He took a look and decided that it could come out but that I should stay in hospital overnight so that they could be sure that there were no complications.
Louise came to take my drain out. I was a little worried as I had taken painkillers before the first one was removed. Louise and one of the other nurses assured me that I didn't need painkillers and besides which I couldn't take anything else because it was only 2 hours since I had taken my paracetamol. I had already walked to the shop for a paper for one of the other patients, and bought some chocolate for me which was becoming a habit every time I went in the shop. Anyway whilst there I bought a box of Celebrations to give the staff to celebrate with me. I gave them to Louise before she took the drain out. We both laughed and said that now she couldn't possibly hurt me!!
Louise took me to the treatment room to remove the drain. I laid on the bed there. Firstly she disconnected the bag and pointed out to me that these bags are designed so that you cannot remove the contents. Unfortunately on one occasion something had gone wrong and the contents did escape so she took no chances and checked it over the sink before throwing it in the bin! Louise removed the stitch holding the tube. She said that at anytime I felt it was hurting to tell her and she would stop. She said just do the usual take some deep breaths. I was just starting to breathe deeply when she said that's it. It was very quick and she was right it didn't hurt!! It seemed to come out even quicker than the first one. It felt very strange not having to pick up my bag and carry the drain away with me!! I decided to sit on my chair for half an hour as that was what I had done after the first one.
I asked the nurse various questions whilst my Auntie was with me later
in the day. Katie reckoned I would need to wear the support knickers
for about 3 months. She said I should wear them until the swelling
had gone although she thought later if there was a time when I especially
didn't want to wear them for a night out that it wouldn't matter too much.
I asked about baths as I was getting desperate. There were two baths
in the ward but no proper shower. Katie thought I would be all right
having a bath as long as I didn't allow the sutures to be covered with
water. A little difficult when that was my bikini line!! Katie
suggested that I wait until the registrar came round in the morning.
Then I should take a bath but kneel in the water and splash it around.
Mr Greenwood looked at my tummy. He pressed and tapped and said everything felt fine and I was to get off home!! I asked about the bath. He said 5 days after surgery you are safe from bacteria risks but he thought I would be better having showers for now. He said that if I had a bath my stereo strips (I don't know if that is how you spell them!) would come off. He then said that it wouldn't matter as I could get the nurses to put fresh ones one. In the end I decided to follow Katie's instructions. One of the doctors gave me a sick certificate which signed me off work for the next two weeks.
It didn't take me long to get to the bathroom!!!! I struggled getting those awful stockings off. I tentatively climbed in the bath. I was frightened washing round the scar. But still it felt good. I didn't stay in the bath very long and took care drying myself. It was strange getting dressed again. I tried the support knickers/pantee girdle that my Auntie had bought me from Marks and Spencer. I wasn't pleased that it was the size 20 I needed to wear. That didn't help the ego but then nobody else can see them. I wore my elasticated skirt and a loose fitting T shirt. In fact I would describe these as my fat clothes. I felt horrible. These were the same style of clothes that I wore when I was at my largest!
The student nurse sorted out my discharge. I was given two appointments for outpatients and my tablets, paracetamol and iron tablets. Kate gave me a paper which said I should avoid hoovering, carrying heavy shopping, lifting small children and stretching. I asked about driving. Kate checked with a staff nurse. The message was I shouldn't drive until I felt I could cope with an emergency stop and the seat belt. They suggested about 2 weeks.
I panicked a little about the Outpatients appointment as everybody was at work.
John fetched me about 4.30pm. The journey was uncomfortable and we got caught in the rush hour traffic. It must have taken us at least an hour getting back. I got John to take me to the doctor's surgery to hand in the letter I had been given for him. We got to my house and I felt exhausted. We had an Indian take away which was very nice! It was good to be home but I was surprised at how much that journey had taken out of me!
I went to bed and found that I couldn't cope with my flat bed.
I was used to just one pillow before going into hospital. I had to
go and find extra pillows for my head and one to put under my knees before
I could get comfortable.
I had a number of phone calls and visits when I got home. My ex next door neighbour had been in whilst I was in hospital. She had hoovered and mowed the lawn for me and watered some of my plants outside. There were flowers in a vase waiting for my return. Margaret has visited a few times since then. She and her husband have been good and mowed my lawn and done some gardening too. They are hoping to return soon to cut my hedge.
Jenny, the neighbour who my cat Max adopted, has been an angel. She looked after the cats for me whilst I was away. Elizabeth her daughter played with them and brushed them too. She and/or Elizabeth visited at least once daily after my return. Jenny doesn't like motorway driving but her school closed a week before mine so she was able to run me to the hospital on Monday 17th July.
We arrived at the hospital in plenty of time so had a drink in the cafe run by volunteers. We had to go upstairs to Suite 7 the clinic I was due to attend. About 10 minutes later than my appointment time a nurse came for me. She asked me to lie on the bed. She took a look at my tummy and said everything looked fine. She removed the stereo strips. There were lots of them all done the large scar. A small part looked raw so she put a little bit of gauze on it. She reminded me that I shouldn't be lifting things and then told me that I could start having baths and that in fact they would probably do me good. I think I asked her one or two questions. It would have been easier if I had thought of a few questions and written them down. She was very nice but it was like she assumed that I wouldn't have any questions. She did say re the support knickers that I would know when I could manage without. She said it usually depended on how much skin had been removed but she guess about 6-8 weeks.
I went back to the ward to see if a couple of my friends were there. jenny ended up walking back to the shop and buying two of them a newspaper. See I was missed!!!!! That was a job I had taken on whilst on the ward as nobody came round with magazines and papers. A sweet trolley came round once a week as did the library books. The job gave me an excuse for some exercise. As there weren't many interesting places it was nice to have a purpose for going down that long corridor.
We arrived near Preston and it was lunchtime. We decided to have a pub lunch together. That was one way I could express my thanks. We then had a quick visit to Sainsbury's my supermarket. I was tired for the rest of the day.
The day after I got out from hospital John and Lindsey took me into Blackburn. I wanted to go into Marks and Spencer and buy some more of the light control pants as I had chosen the largest size Auntie had brought me and so only had one pair. We had a coffee out and then visited another shop for Lindsey. We ended up in the supermarket so I could choose the foods I wanted but John and Lindsey made sure I didn't lift or carry anything! I am not used to Morrisions but it was nice to get out and they do stock lots of Weight Watcher foods. I think I slept for most of the rest of the day apart from a few visitors calling.
People were very kind phoning and offering to help if I ever needed anything.
Jenny took me to the vet with Candy and Amber. She carried them and made sure I didn't do anything I shouldn't. They had their annual vaccinations and I paid my vets insurance money too. I was concerned by some of the cats' matted fur. The vet said I should book them into be sedated and groomed. I do wish Candy would let me brush her. She is much worse since I went away. Amber loves to be brushed except for her tummy and her back legs where she has the matted fur! They are booked for 1st August as I reckoned I could cope with driving by then.
I was invited to a BBQ at my headteacher's home on Sunday 23rd. Ada, from school, fetched me and took me home again, 30 mins drive each time.
On Monday 24th July I had a dental appointment so once again Jenny kindly took me into town. It was for a check up and everything was okay for now. I was able to take a wander round town whilst I was there.
On Tuesday I played about on the computer and found that the Blackburn Tesco delivered in my area. I made an order online which was delivered the following morning - no stretching, lifting or driving required!!!!
Jenny is now on her own holiday and I miss the daily visits. Now my washing will be back to the tumble dryer instead of the washing line as I can manage it like that on my own.
This morning I took a walk down to my village as I wanted some stamps. It is downhill and then of course uphill coming back. I was okay but it wasn't as easy as walking on the flat.
This afternoon in a moment of boredom I decided to take myself out in the car. I had no problems going into the next village where I wanted a few things from the chemist but I admit to being very slightly sore coming home. Still I think I was more comfortable than I had been as a passenger.
Now is there anything I have missed! I find that I keep wanting to sit with my feet curled up under me or crossed or in other positions which I am sure wouldn't be advised!! Of course I can't stay like that for long so I do fidget quite a bit. My tummy is still tender to touch. I get odd moments of soreness and much rarer, less than once a day, a quick flash of pain.
I was frightened having my early baths and didn't stay in for long. But they have lengthened again now as I have returned to my old habit of reading magazines in the bath! I phoned the hospital about putting cream on my scar and was told they advised E45 cream and I have some at home already. After a while I tried reducing some of the pillows in my bed but I couldn't settle so ended up returning them.
I am happy wandering round. It tends to get sore if I sit too long. Even standing at the sink and my tummy rubbing at the edge can be sore. Nothing unbearable though, can't be as I don't need much of an excuse to stop washing up!!
The difficult things are remembering not to lift or stretch for things. Its also taken a while to realise that I get tired much quicker than I used to.
Anyway I am happy with the results so far and will be happier when the
swelling has gone. I shall also be happier when I get my eating back
under control too. My next hospital appointment is 10th August so
I shall report then unless there is anything new to add beforehand.
Since the last check up I have been having daily baths, that is the point where I really get to see what my scars look like. When I first took off the support garment I had a lot of areas of dried blood. Many of these were actually on the stretch marks which presumably are thinner and so bled when pulled in the operation. There was one small patch of dried blood which took time to clear. I couldn't understand what it was from as it wasn't near the scar. It was round hip height but towards my back. When the dried blood eventually came off there was a slight mark left. I discovered that there was a similar mark on the other side. It would appear that my skin was pulled back and had a stitch put in whilst the surgery was under way.
For sometime later I had slight marks left on my underwear but it usually happened soon after my baths. By the time I went to the hospital today all those areas had dried up although for a few days last weekend there was slight bleeding from the scar by my tummy button. Again it mainly occurred after my bath. All these bleeds etc were only small spots or I would have phoned and asked for advice.
The appointment today was different from my previous check up. This time I had to collect and hand in my notes. It was Mrs. Brain's clinic day. The doctor who saw me was only young and he said that he had never had any dealings with my sort of surgery before. He took a careful look at all my scars and was very impressed with how well they had healed. I think that was because my surgeon was so good.
I asked about exercise so he asked Mrs Brain's advice. The answer was because my surgery didn't involve any work on my muscles, that presumably was thanks to all my previous exercise, I no longer had restrictions put on me. The nurse said that I was to be careful not to rush back and do lots of things. I was to take it slowly. The doctor had said that I should limit my exercise to what I felt comfortable with. Well at the moment I don't feel up to doing any!! The doctor said that my swimming would certainly be a good exercise for me to do. ..One of my cyber friends who had the surgery done in May says she has tried swimming but couldn't manage it as she was unable to stretch and therefore couldn't do any swimming strokes. That friend had to have her muscles tightened so is in a slightly different position than me. I don't think that will be a problem for me.
I mentioned the putting cream on my scar. At present I put E45 on once daily. The nurse said that I should continue doing that but pointed out that the massage itself was actually more important than the putting cream on. I have to massage the area whenever I get the chance.
I am still tender and do get odd moments of pain but they are very rare and never last more than a few seconds. I found the driving to the hospital quite tiring. Actually I was more tender going than I was coming back. Could the news that I could do what I wanted have made a difference!!
I asked about the after photo. Apparently my photographer got it wrong. It isn't normal to go back for an after picture.
I have been asked to add my feelings to this journal. Well I have been reluctant to add my feelings because I am not sure about my feelings. I felt low going into hospital because of my weight gain. After the surgery I felt even worse. How could I feel happy when I had gained so much weight. No I am not telling you how much!! I was bored and probably lonely too and spent my time eating. (This season is when most of my friends are on holiday.) I tried for the last few weeks to get back on track but I have only succeeded with about a day before falling off the wagon again.
Since Tuesday I have been on track. This has meant my self esteem is rising and I am feeling good about myself. I think I am getting back to the frame of mind I had when I started the programme. Before Tuesday I felt miserable and embarrassed at gaining so much when folk have been looking up to me but also because I have been lucky enough to have had this surgery on the National Health Service, and so have not had to pay any fees. I felt a complete failure and that I had let myself down, the hospital staff and all my friends and family who have done so much to support me. I have been looking at the photos of me at goal and yearning to be like that again. Well now I really feel that I will get back to my goal or a weight I am happy at..
So how do I feel about the surgery now? Well I still can't get completely excited about it because of the gained weight but I am getting there. My tummy feels much tighter and smaller, even with the weight gain and swelling. I don't like the excess still on my hips but I shall see how I feel when the rest of my body has settled down and the swelling gone. It is great not to see that hanging skin anymore. I really hated it and it looked gross. That will be something to look forward to when I first try my swimming again, no skin having to be tucked in!
I asked about giving blood. I vaguely remember being advised before going for surgery that I should stay away for 6 months. I phoned the National Blood Service and they said I could go back as soon as I felt ready. My cyber friend gave blood 6 weeks after her surgery. The doctor today advised me to ask the National Blood Service themselves. The nurse said she thought I should wait for 6 months especially when she knew I had been on a course of iron tablets. She said I wont have needed any blood myself as I would have been told if I had. (I hadn't asked her about that!) My blood type is rhesus D negative and so seemingly in great demand. I keep getting letters, since I started giving blood last year, asking me to donate blood so I want to start again as soon as I am well enough.
I don't take any pain killers now. Sleeping is improving but I have been going to bed very late for various reasons. I still wake up and get up early which leaves me tired during the day. I have reduced my pillows now. I am sleeping more on my side now than I was and that improves all the time.
I don't have anymore appointments at the hospital but I have been told
to get in touch if I should have any worries. So now I am feeling
happy but I shall be even happier when I am much closer to goal again!
I took myself off yesterday. Although I am still definitely fat (I weighed at WW on Monday and am now 46 lbs over goal but that is less than last time!) I did feel much more confident about my looks in my swimsuit. Well that's apart from my hairy legs which were solved with waxing yesterday. I had wondered how I would cope with the waxing with still being tender but it wasn't a problem. Back to the swimming!! I originally planned to swim for 15-20 minutes. I found I could only swim very slowly. Just before I got out I timed my length, which was quicker than when I had first got in the pool. It took me 100 seconds to do one 25 metre length.
It was a very strange feeling. I was left wondering how much was slight discomfort and how much was just that the lack of hanging skin and the tightened tummy felt different. I got occasional moments of soreness but they only lasted seconds. As I swam I felt VERY thin. It will be great when I can believe that I look thin as well as feel it!! I ended up swimming for about 35 minutes. I was taking it very easy and I took my time starting each new length instead of pushing off immediately. Yes I definitely liked it!!
Today I couldn't swim as I am banned for 24 hours after having my legs waxed. At first I thought I would stay at home or maybe go for a walk (the fresh air would have done me good) but then I realised that it would take me time getting back into a 6 out of 7 days routine at the gym. So machines it was. But what should I do! I really didn't feel like using machines. Again it felt strange and again I felt really thin in my lycra shorts. I started on the treadmill and went slowly. I started at 3.2 Km per hour. I built up gradually to 4.9. I was on the machine for just over half an hour but in two blocks. In the middle I decided to try the recline xt ( I think my US friends call it a recumbent bike). I was quite nervous trying this. It was one of my main machines for my previous cardio workouts. It again felt strange. I did just over 5 minutes. I don't think I could have stayed on it for long but it wasn't as difficult as I had imagined. I have never been over enthusiastic about the step machine or the top xt (arm cycle). I managed about 3 minutes on both of them but they definitely took more effort than the other machines. I decided to finish up on the treadmill.
Roger, who has done my last few one to one sessions is leaving at the end of this month. He had no times left for me but has agreed to fit me into his shift work on Wednesday. I shall feel happier having discussed with an expert what it is a sensible rate to take on the machines.
Tomorrow it will be back to the swimming. Or at least that is the plan now, 9pm!
I am still being asked for feelings and about the scar. I know from what I have read that the scars flatten out in time and that 'Your scars may actually appear to worsen during the first three to six months as they heal, but this is normal. Expect it to take nine months to a year before your scars flatten out and lighten in color. ' One of the pages I used before surgery was Surgery of the Abdomen, Abdominoplasty The quote comes from that page. It also gives pictures which show what sort of scar to expect.
My scar? The scar round my tummy button is no longer very red. The other scar today is looking red, slightly more than my tummy button, but not really red. It feels a little lumpy in places especially the area above my pubic hair. When I feel sore it tends to be my tummy in general rather than where the scar is. I continue to try and massage it at least morning and night but usually more often.
I am still wearing some support underwear. I started out wearing
Marks and Spencer's light control panel pantee girdles. My Auntie
had bought them and I am sure they were right to start with. Various
things made me wonder about what I was wearing. The nurse at my last
check up had stressed that it was the pressure on my scar that was important
but none of the pantee girdles covered all the areas. The lady who
I met at out patients said she had been told in hospital that she wouldn't
need a pantee girdle, mind you they might just have been stressing that
she wouldn't need a firm control one. She said she had been wearing
'Sloggi' pants/knickers (or underpants as my US friends call them) but
she wasn't sure if they were giving enough support. I was thinking
I might be having too much support so I have now changed to wearing Sloggi
knickers. They certainly don't feel as strong but they do support
all the area and are comfortable. The other knickers I found which
were comfortable were Marks and Spencer's light control smoothline knickers.
There that's just what you wanted to read about - my knickers!!
This morning I went for my swim. It was much easier than on Thursday. Maybe I was more relaxed and confident going into the pool or maybe I am just getting stronger everyday. Whatever the swim was much more fun. I was swimming more quickly than last time. I didn't have to stop and take breaks between lengths. I had no twinges or soreness at all. The flatter and tighter tummy felt wonderful too. It seems that this exercise is making me feel better all round. I did some work in the garden, cleaning a wooden barrel and my pebble pool. I was carrying quite heavy buckets of water with no problems. The only thing I have experienced today has been itching at the points either end of my main scar. Life is just getting better and better.
